yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
