you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
