I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
