Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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