Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
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