It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize