His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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