google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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