I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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