I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
