Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize