Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
