there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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