a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize