I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
