the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
