He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
