i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You pole danced in your parka.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
