Soap is not a condiment
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
So squirting runs in the family.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
