apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
