We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
