He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
