my vag is so smooth its legendary
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
