Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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