Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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