Its about making memories worth repressing
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
