Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
3pm strippers are depressing
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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