Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
