There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
