Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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