for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
i now understand why vodka
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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