yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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