the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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