He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize