Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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