Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
