whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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