Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
