I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
