do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize