We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
