I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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