I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize