We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize