New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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