Its about making memories worth repressing
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
