big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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