I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i think i have two assholes
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
