A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Randomize
