? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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