I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
