Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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