I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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