right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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