Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
