definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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