The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
