This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
