kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
