i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The beer is more important than you right now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
