We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
