sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
