i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
