We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
