Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
