Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
