I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
