I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize