would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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